Today I want to write about exactly that, the spiritual awakening process. I want to share my awakening process with you and give you my perspective on what is going on.
I had my awakening experience back in 2018. Well, maybe it started with a slight feeling of emptiness when I sat on a bus in East coast Australia before Christmas in 2016. Many people experience something traumatizing that catapults their awakening. Like a breakup, a disease, a job loss, you name it.
That was not exactly what happened to me. I have had challenging experiences in the past, no doubt, but the beginning of my spiritual awakening came to me in a moment of peace.
What to seek when everything is perfect?
In a moment where I felt like I finally had everything I wanted, or my previous problems were solved. It was all just good and my mind kept looking for something to worry about, but I felt nothing but gratefulness. Then the thought came to me on the bus that, hey, maybe this is like a moment I will remember as perfect. There will sure be challenges in the future, but right now there are none. I am 21, traveling with amazing friends, I have vacation and I feel free. I am inspired and just at peace with myself.
And then an emptiness started sneaking up on me. I just thought, so this is it? Maybe this is it. Maybe it doesn’t get much better, and even if it does, what difference does it make? Are we only living for these few moments of happiness? All the challenges and suffering up until now has only led me to a moment of peace. And then I thought, yes I still remember that 4.5 years ago, is this all there is in the Universe? Am I peaking now? Like, is this it?
How the culture teaches us how to be
I grew up in a very ateist culture. My mom’s side of the family is slightly new age and open, but most people around me didn’t seem much interested in existential questions. I grew up in a culture where religion was actually ridiculed and science was accepted like a replacement for religions.
I found my culture, and maybe the whole western popular culture shallow and superficial, blind to what’s important and the deeper sense of life. Even though I felt strange as a child, I started to suppress these thoughts as a teenager because I really wanted to fit in and be like the rest. At this moment on the bus, the need for some deeper understanding of life awoke in me again and back then I didn’t really realize what it was.
In fact, I was terrified of what I had suppressed because I associated it with being a misfit. I felt different and very alone when I was younger. So after that moment I kept on suppressing it for a whole year trying to fill the gap with pushing myself at school, focusing on friends, and travels. Yes, my life was very good and I was in a deep sense of flow. Still, the feeling of emptiness started to grow inside of me and I got more and more tired and bored of reality.
Exploring the world on my own
In 2018 I travelled alone for the first time to South America. For the first time I was able to live in a different culture with a different mindset and beliefs. It was the complete opposite of the Scandinavian collective mindset that I was used to.
This made me see through a lot of bullshit rules that I was following because of my culture, that didn’t benefit me at all. I saw the Norwegian culture from the outside and saw that it was a bubble. A bubble consisting of norms, lifestyles and life aspirations that people really believed in somehow. Like they were true, not just a belief they held.
Anyway, when I came back home and continued my university degree my awakening started to really happen. The questions I had suppressed came back to the surface and I couldn’t deny it anymore. I wondered. What is the point of life? What’s the point of this education and the future job? To keep humanity going? For what? For survival? What’s the point of anything? Is this reality even real? Is this 9-5 human life all there is to experience except a few moments of peace.
I became super sensitive and moved away from meat, processed food and alcohol. Moreover, I stopped watching news and mainstream movies and music. I wanted to do yoga, learn meditation, be in nature, listen to high frequency music and eat organic, natural, living food. Back then I didn’t understand it, but now I know that the sensitivity was me becoming aware of energy and the different frequencies energy vibrate at.
The dark night of the soul
Reality didn’t feel real anymore. It felt like a big joke in a way, but that everyone seemed to believe in. It felt like I was in a dream and that I had woken up inside that dream, and I had no idea of what was going on with me. I remember one day I couldn’t be at school anymore since the feeling of depression and emptiness got me so strongly.
It felt so completely pointless to sit for hours and study, so instead I decided to take a walk in the hills around my school. I remember I didn’t understand anything, except that my “old” reality didn’t make any sense anymore. It didn’t make me happy. It felt so pointless, meaningless and empty. I knew like something huge was going on inside of me and I just couldn’t stop it. And I could already understand back then that this was a permanent change and there was no going back after this no matter how much I wanted to and tried to.
After that I went through several dark nights of the soul and questioned even what I was. Julie and my personality didn’t feel like me either. I suddenly remembered I had heard about something related to 2012 from an event my mom took me to when I was 16. I started searching for the shift in consciousness that he was speaking about and then spiritual teachers started popping up on my youtube feed and finally I discovered that spiritual awakening is a real thing. It wasn’t hard for me to realize that this was what was going on with me. I experienced exactly what they were speaking about.
The sensing of something being off
This post is for everyone on the spiritual awakening journey, but I especially want to dedicate it to you that find yourself in that moment where you just realize that something like this is going on with you and you just can’t deny what is happening anymore. I have been there and I get it. Everyone’s journey is different and maybe you experienced some of what I went through or maybe not. Either way, it is real and the sooner you accept it and comes to terms with it, the better.
There is much more I can share on my awakening, but this I’ll save for later. Ultimately, the awakening is you shifting from a third dimensional perspective into a fifth. This might resonate with you or not, just take it or leave it. Most people are going through several awakening phases which are transitions between the two dimensions, some call it the fourth dimension.
This is a phase where you question. Your perspective or worldview is heightened so you see more than you were able to before, but duality still exists. Right and wrong, good and bad is usually felt strongly and you feel maybe even more separated from everyone else and the world. The separation feels strong because you are transcending it and becoming aware of it. This is a rough phase for many, myself included.
Down the dark path
This is where you might find yourself getting angry at the current system, the educational system, the working life, the health care system, the financial and political system. You name it. Honor this phase because it is a very important one and might be closely tied to your purpose.
This is probably also where you might get into conspiracy theories if you feel drawn to that. I’m sorry I’m using this term, but I’m using it because most people know what I mean. Basically, you understand that reality isn’t what you thought it was, it wasn’t the way it was presented to you. There is more to this world and you are starting to seek the truth. Many of us become a little lost in truth seeking, as it can become very negative and create more fear and duality.
It can also leave you with a feeling of disempowerment. But if you feel called to search for it, go for it. 100%! But I do recommend that you notice how information makes you feel and whether or not it improves your life. In this phase we might want to escape the whole planet, just get far away. We might isolate ourselves and feel very different from the world around us. We might feel lonely and like we are the only ones. I still feel this sometimes.
There are two types of challenges
Something a friend said to me that I believe is a very healthy perspective is that you have two types of problems, those you can solve and those you can’t. Unless you are planning on really working on a problem in this world and actually try to solve it, be careful not to give all your energy to the problem. It doesn’t help you, it doesn’t help anyone else and it doesn’t help solving the problem either.
The next stage of a spiritual awakening is healing. This is a process that lasts for years, maybe a lifetime, even though it is stronger in some periods than others. Healing of the past, traumas coming to the surface, and I recommend that you watch my video about the dark night of the soul on this topic because there I go through the conscious awakening and the healing of you darkness and pain.
The only one sober at a party…
Being awakened can feel like being the only one sober at a party where everyone else is drunk. Like being a fish discovering air for the first time and realize it was in water the whole time. I tried to deny it for so long. I had a strong ego and I was very identified with my ego-self. In fact, I had reached the point in life where I was very satisfied with my ego identity and felt like I had finally mastered life. Then awakening happened and it didn’t even feel real.
Another analogy I like to use is comparing spiritual awakening with standing in a clouded valley your whole life until you realize you are in a big cloud. Then you start walking up the mountain hill and you rise above the cloud and you see the cloud clearly from above. What you thought was real was only an experience, or a perspective. Above the clouds, which is like the matrix, really, you can see that reality is so much more, you are so much more and most people are in a hypnotic state and believe in an illusion.
Seeing through the veil of illusion
As you start seeing through these illusions of your culture and the illusions or beliefs you hold about yourself, you become more and more of who you really are. The spiritual awakening make you step into a higher version of yourself and you understand that you can choose who you want to be.
But you might also come to understand that you are none of those things. You are the observer or the consciousness behind your identity and that those mental identities are limiting you and keeping you suffering. Total liberation comes when you understand that you are in unity with all that exists. That you are the consciousness and a fragment of source, just like everything and everyone else.
This is not a linear process for most of us. We tap in and out of different levels of consciousness during the day. Your soul has many layers and exists in many dimensions at the same time. Sometimes we are blaming everyone for everything, the next moment we deeply feel that everyone is us in a different body. It’s just two different perspectives, one further away from unity and Source consciousness than the other.
It is your journey
There is so much to say about the spiritual awakening process. This is what I felt called to share today. Remember that if this doesn’t resonate with you, that’s okey. Your journey is unique and how it’s supposed to be, but I hope I’ve helped you with this blog post. Until next time, remember that we are in this together.
Check out my coaching program, Awaken You! if you want to dive deeper with me. You can also book a call with me directly here.
Namaste.